Who are you protecting?

君は誰を守っている 「kimi wa dare o mamotte iru」

The title of this post and the previous line are the same thing. It's basically the name of a song from an anime (which some of you may already know from where it comes from!) and the reason why I picked this as a title is because of a small conversation that I had a while back with a friend of mine after a recent heartbreak of hers.

(Hit the play button before you continue reading! =] )

I asked her what was she looking for in a relationship and, thus, in a man. Among the things that she told me she was looking for, something struck me (although I was expecting it): She was looking for someone that could protect her. Like I said, it was something to be expected since Security and Significance are, in fact, part of of our basic psychological necessities. In that sense, I guess she knows that fact pretty well given that she's a psychologist!

In any case, that brought up something obvious: Women want/need to be protected. It is engraved in their nature; and we, as men, also look to protect them. We can appreciate it in our collective meme. And while the notion of what is perceived as a protector has had some changes throughout the ages (think, for example, that in the 1940's the model was someone like Humphrey Bogard. In the 1980's it was someone like Sylvester Stallone; and in the 1990's it was someone like Brad Pitt), there is always something that binds those different perceptions together...

My friend likes big-tall-strong guys. She considers that going out with a guy smaller than her will not make her feel protected. I'm a short-average-looking type of guy (objectively speaking). So, based on her conception of feeling protected, I wouldn't probably be apt for the 'job'.

Does that mean that people like me do not fit the profile to be a protector? Not necessarily. It depends on who and what we are protecting. If I'm going to protect someone from a group of thugs, the lack of physical strength and agility might pose a problem. Then again, those characteristics could also be deceiving. A protector, in my humble opinion, knows that we are a biological-psychological-spiritual unity (created in the image and likeness of God), and tries to protect that which he loves in it's entirety. Not just the physical aspect.

Personally, I believe an excellent example of what a protector should be like we can find it in Saint Joseph. Sure, not much is know about him; but tradition tells us many things that are admirable. Yes, he was a carpenter, but he taught his child the value of work protecting him from laziness and procrastination. Even though, they might have been poor, he always provided for his family effectively protecting their well-being. We can see that, although he worked in the shadows, he would go great lengths to protect his family when things would go really bad. We can see it when the Holy family had to flee from the Roman soldiers, trusting in God, even when he did not know what was just around the corner. Trusting in a way that could have set an example to the people that surrounded him virtually protecting their faith and hope.

That is a paradigm of a protector that we should follow. We should have a supernatural outlook on the issue of protecting that which we love so that we can protect it in its entirety according to the maximum of our capacities and possibilities. In a nutshell, two things that you can always find in a protector are:

1. Has a high regard and a deep love for that which he is protecting.
2. Is perseverant in protecting his treasure and endures with fortitude any vicissitudes that may arise.

With those two things in mind, it is easily understandable the link the many different paradigm of protectors throughout the ages.

In the end, you have to ask yourself, 'Who are you protecting'?